Sunday, 4 October 2015

OPINION PLEASE?

I was going to write a post to ask for your opinion.  I still need it but not as much as before.

Here goes......I don't have many friends in my area, so when Bear and I joined a group I met this other girl.  She was inducted into the group at the same time as us as she is also new to the area.  Anyway she lost her husband earlier in the year so is lonely.  During the past week on two occasions N has invited me to her house for a cup of tea.  The first time she kindly made a gluten free cake for me, which was delicious.  Then when I left gave me half the cake to take home, as she said she wouldn't eat it all. On Saturday she invited me around again and offered me some other things to take home when I was leaving.

Bear and I usually tag each other in any gluten free recipes we find on face book to see if we want to make them.  So last night (Saturday)  I found another gluten free cake recipe which I shared but forgot to tag Bear. N saw it and said am I dropping hints I want her to make it next time I come over for a cuppa. All I responded was LOL!, to which she said that is sure hinting. So I added well you are a good cook so you can be my guinea pig.  Don't know if this offended her as she replied with I am full of crap.

I'm a very sensitive person and jumped to conclusions she was being nasty to me and instead of telling Bear I withdraw into myself. This morning I was still feeling hurt by her comment and was trying to figure out what I had said or done wrong.   I was going to ask everyone's opinion on what to do as I knew if I told Bear he would say distance myself from her.

Bear noticed I was withdrawn and wondered why. Then he checked the post on face book and questioned me about it. So he talked to me at great lengths and as I predicted told me not to go around to her house again.  He then took me by the hand into the bedroom and spanked me for withdrawing from him. It wasn't a punishment spanking just a hand spanking followed by his belt and some fun times after wards.  I did feel better after he took care of me.  Yet all day I feel on the verge of tears wondering why N has said this and keep thinking she must think I am a horrible person or something. I would never say to anyone they are full of crap as I think it is disrespectful.

So where do I go from here as it is going to make it awkward when we attend anything to do with this group if N is going to treat me like this?  Or am I over reacting and being too sensitive. I would appreciate everyone's opinion to what you would do please?
at

23 comments:

  1. Minielle Labraun4 October 2015 at 22:48

    Am I reading it correctly that you said you were making the cake and she would be your guinee pig? That's when she said you were full of cr*|?
    Maybe she has some social peculiarities and mis-read your comment. I probably would bring it out in the open. Possibly you could mention that you were serious about making her the cake next time you got together but got the impression she was put out by that. I think your FB post was very neutral. I always post recipes etc. that doesn't mean I want someone to bake it for me.
    However does Bear feel she is an odd duck?
    I'm kinda over sensitive myself.... So....
    Hope it works out! Hmmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:09

      yes Bear does think she is an odd duck. LOL! see where it goes from here, I guess. I usually don't eat cake unless on special occasions. So definitely think she got her wires crossed.
      thanks Minelle for your response.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy

      Delete
  2. Minielle Labraun4 October 2015 at 22:49

    That hmmmm was supposed to be after my first paragraph! Blogger is crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Terpsichore4 October 2015 at 23:13

    I am sorry you were hurt so by her unkind comment. I am sure there was a miscommunication of some sort. The reality is that the written word is easy to misinterpret as you cannot see the person's facial expressions or hear the tone of voice. However, how she responded did seem rude and uncalled for. Rather than trying to understand, she jumped to incorrect conclusions and was mean. Being highly sensitive myself I know I would be very hurt by that type of reaction when I meant no harm and certainly would be in tears. Use your intuition. If this was in fact a misunderstanding and someone you feel could develop into a strong friendship, then I would try talking with her and working out, as difficult or awkward as that might be.However, if it does not feel right, then trust that. On a side note, one of my children has Celiac and I just made yummy apple roses making gluten free pastry dough for the first time and it was quite tasty. I would be happy to share recipes with you. :-) Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:12

      Thanks Terps, yes my intuition is saying leave her be, plenty more fish in the sea. That would be fantastic if you could share recipes with me. Feel sorry for your child, it is hard enough coping as an adult with being coeliac let alone younger. Look forward to hearing from you.
      have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete
    2. Terpsichore22 October 2015 at 23:52

      Hi Lindy...do you have an email...would love to send a recipe to you, but can't seem to find any contact information...otherwise I can just put up a post - I have done so in the past :-) Hugs

      Delete
    3. Lindy Thomas5 November 2015 at 11:59

      Yes that would be great Terps. my email address is strawberrymoo10@hotmail.com

      Delete
  4. Aimless Rambling5 October 2015 at 00:11

    I think she deserves a chance to clarify. If it doesn't feel right when she explains, then by all means distance yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:15

      there has been some further development over the weekend. So letting our friendship go. I don't need negative people like her bringing me down, which she is unfortunately. thanks Sunny, have a good week.
      LIndy x

      Delete
  5. PK5 October 2015 at 00:40

    I have a different take on this - probably because my warped sense of humor. I would tease and joke with my friends in this exact way. Of course this is with the people I've known for years. I might hold back a little with a new friend. I would not have found any of this back and forth conversation offensive in the least. Maybe assume she's weird like me and just ignore all that's been said so far and just assume she was trying to be funny. I know I could be wrong, but I say give her a chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:17

      Thanks PK I do have a wicked sense of humour with old friends but wouldn't dare say stuff to someone I just met. As Bear said she blotted her copy book further over the weekend. So have ended the friendship.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete
  6. dancingbarez5 October 2015 at 01:06

    It sounded like a joke to me as well. Maybe you should give her a call to get a clearer picture of the context. You will never know unless you do which will drive you nuts.if she is/was then it's not a friendship worth pursing.

    All that aside talk to Bear about it first so he knows it's still on your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  7. dancingbarez5 October 2015 at 01:07

    It sounded like a joke to me as well. Maybe you should give her a call to get a clearer picture of the context. You will never know unless you do which will drive you nuts.if she is/was then it's not a friendship worth pursing.

    All that aside talk to Bear about it first so he knows it's still on your mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:20

      Thanks for your help unfortunately she has said some further hurtful things over the weekend. So have to end my friendship with her, I don't need to be brought down and belittled.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete
    2. dancingbarez12 October 2015 at 21:59

      Uugh, just came back to see how it worked out. So sorry you had to encounter that!

      Delete
    3. dancingbarez12 October 2015 at 22:22

      Uugh, just came back to see how it worked out. So sorry you had to encounter that!

      Delete
    4. Lindy Thomas15 October 2015 at 21:23

      Thanks better off now though. :)

      Delete
  8. Ella5 October 2015 at 02:19

    Lindy, this is a hard one to understand. I agree with PK that it might just be a silly sense of humor, but it still doesn't sound right to me. I think I would feel like you.

    When you are just getting to know someone, a kind person doesn't answer a joke like that. You might make a funny comment, but you would be more careful. I could say something like that to my sister. She would just smile and know I was kidding. I would never say something like that to you. I don't know you that well yet. I could offend you, and I wouldn't want to do that.

    If you really enjoyed her company, try baking something to share with her. But go into it with your eyes open. She could just turn out to be a not so nice person.

    Ella Appreciating You Just the Way You Are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:22

      Thanks Ella for your advice. I have given her the flip after further insults over the weekend. I too would say things as a joke to friends I've known for ages but not someone new who I don't know how they will react. Never mind plenty more nice girls at the club.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete
  9. an English Rose5 October 2015 at 04:47

    Hi Lindy, I think I feel a bit differently to some of your commenters. I would have taken it to heart and whether it was a joke or not I would be steering clear of her from now on. I think that is just me though, I am too much of a scaredy cat to say anything I would just avoid it all. I am sorry that this has happened to you when you were only befriending someone out of kindness. Life is horrid sometimes, I hope you can find a solution that makes you happier
    love Jan, xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 16:25

      Thanks Jan. I'm a scaredy cat also and prefer to run away from situations. She has been flinging other insults my way over the weekend, so definitely moving on from her.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete
  10. Roz5 October 2015 at 18:26

    Hi Lindy, I just read your post and some of your replies. I'm so sorry you were hurt and even more sorry that further hurtful things have been said since. It sounds like you are definitely better to steer clear.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy Thomas5 October 2015 at 21:45

      Thanks Roz. Takes all kinds but don't need her in my life.
      Have a good week.
      Lindy x

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. We hope you all enjoy celebrations with family and friends Please stay safe...

  • PARTY TIME!
    Dust off your good clothes and dancing shoes....LETS PARTY LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW!           Yes the BIG 0 has arrived wi...
  • MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR
    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. We hope you all enjoy celebrations with family and friends Please stay safe...
  • LOVE OUR LURKERS
    LOL 12 day has arrived, YAY! Welcome to DOWNUNDER DREAMING Bear and I have been married for a long, long time, we...