I had a very interesting conversation with a girl who I will call Rachel, the other day and spilt the beans about our life style.
Rachel was telling me about a friend of hers who just lost her father and needs help as she turns to self harm. Both Rachel and her friend have the same thing in common, their form of self harm is cutting. I had known that she did this before which worried me no end, yet never asked what she achieved out of it. When she explained about the high she gets, I said that's the endorphins.
Being quite concerned for Rachel's welfare, I said there are other ways to feel that high the endorphins give you. DING DONG alarm bells went off, why have you opened you big mouth Lindy, stupid woman! I knew what the next question was before Rachel verbalised it.
"So what do you do for the endorphin highs?"
Even though she couldn't see me, my face was burning with embarrassment. I thought do I lie or tell her the truth. I took the second option telling her the truth about our life style. We had a long discussion during which she asked "So like in outlander with the spanking episode?"
Yep exactly was my reply. I wish I could have seen Rachel's face to see how she was taking the news. I wanted to take back my words but it was too late for that, it was all out in the open. She declared she knew there was something kinky going on in our retirement, just didn't know what. Oops! What have I done opening up a can of worms like this.
Our conversation went on a bit longer with me explaining things and suggesting she try it for herself, rather than doing something dangerous like cutting. I think I gave her a bit of 'Food for thought'. I ended with saying VANILLA IS SO BORING, you need some KINK in YOUR life, then left it at that.
I expected further questions since this but nothing more has come from it. So I don't know if Rachel is willing to give our life style a go to see if it suits her or she thinks I'm totally nuts. So do you think I did the right thing in telling her, or should I have lied?
Enjoy your week everyone.
Hugs Lindy xx
Hi Lindy, it's great to see you back :) Oh goodness brave of you to spill the beans, I'm honestly not sure what I would have done. Hopefully you have given her something to think about rather than self harming.
ReplyDeleteHope all is well with you and Bear.
Hugs
Roz
Hi Roz, I'm hoping I did the right thing, time will tell. Bear and I are good thanks. Had a lovely holiday visiting our children.
DeleteHope you and Rick are keeping well.
Hugs Lindy xx
Lindy,
ReplyDeleteYou and I are on the same wave length right now, but geez, ma'am, I have avoided telling anyone, by simply taking more of a discussion of Biblical submission, even though we do not considered ourselves cdd. It explains itself enough without going into all the kinky details.
The way the question was phrased though, from your friend, would have been terribly hard to reverse course. I think at that point you had no choice, and you are so right that it can be such an endorphin high. Hmmm, so as hard as it was for you, I think in that situation you were right to be completely honest. I too would of had a face burning with embarrassment!
--Baker
Hi Baker, I felt like I was put on the spot and had to tell the truth. Not sure how this person feels now seeing they haven't said anymore to me about it. I think I will be hiding out for a while.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
I'm proud of you! We don't do anything to be ashamed of and we know it can be beneficial. No one has to try it, but we KNOW it works for us. Be out and be proud I say.
ReplyDeleteAWWW thank you PK that means a lot that you are proud of me. Its definitely nothing to be ashamed of the way we enjoy spanking. Hopefully this girl will learn something from our conversation.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
I think you were brave -- not sure I could have 'spilled the beans' I am such a chicken at heart.
ReplyDeleteAs for her not saying anything since and you 'hiding out' I would just continue along as the conversation never happened.. after all you are the same person she originally liked -- maybe letting her see nothing has changed is what she needs...... let her come to you about the kink lifestyle if / when she is ready...
that's my 2 cents ........... (small smile)
Thank you for your 2 cents worth, very appreciated. Very sound advice. I'm usually a BIG chicken also.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
THat was brave. However I don't think you should think too much about it. At that point she might have been more embarrassed than you. We've had time to process, and it's a part of our lives. For vanilla folk it's a totally new ballgame. Perhaps she is just keeping quiet because she is processing. And hopefully doing her own research on the web, and keeping busy instead of self-harming. If she gives it a go, I'm sure she'll come back to you with questions. IF she doesn't, she probably wont mention it at all ever again, in which case, you'll only be driving yourself crazy worrying about it. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd say, just be normal around her, when you do speak to / see her next.
Very sounds advice thank you Fondles. Hopefully she is researching this and decided to try spanking over her option of self harm.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
I think your explanation was great. I don't believe it came across crazy or odd. Certainly putting it out there as a different kink gives you some credibility to people who experiment.... and you may help her turn to something that is a much greater positive way to get endorphins! Well.... at least to all of us!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Minelle. Hopefully it has made her realise there are other methods which produce endorphins. Time will tell.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
SO nice to hear from yo, Lindy. I think many people are more accepting if they think it is part of a sexual experimentation. Harder to find understanding when you actually explain This Thing We Do.
ReplyDeleteAlways glad to know that ttwd continues to give you both so much joy.
Sending Hugs Downunder,
Ella
Thank you Ella, very true. Oh yes Bear and I find heaps happiness with TTWD, making people wonder what we do.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Hi Lindy,
ReplyDeleteNo I don't think its crazy spilling the beans. It reinforces to your friend that you are sincere and concerned for her welfare. Just remember that no-one has ever died from embarrassment.
Don
Thank you Don, I am very concerned. would much prefer to hear her use some other form to get her jollies.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
No I don't think you are crazy, I think your explanation was perfect.
ReplyDeleteI agree with others, carry on as thought conversation didn't happen. You may find that she eventually does come back and ask more.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thank you Ronnie, I'm hoping she will ask questions after thinking on it.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Lindy,
ReplyDeleteSorry I am so late. Gutsy, and a great explanation.
Meredith
Never too late Meredith. You were just too busy galavanting around the country side having heaps of fun.
DeleteThank you.
Hugs Lindy xx
I've been honest with a few people in the past and had similar nail biting concerns afterward.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on what could really happen if she reacted negatively about it. What can she really do to impact your life - is there anything she can do that will matter and cause a real problem in your life?
You gave her something to think about in an act of goodwill. I'd leave it at that, and not bring it up again unless she asks. I'd also gauge her reaction if she does bring it up again.
As an aside, I just finished the first Outlander book last night in fact, and found that her referencing it in an attempt to understand was great timing. Guess I'll have to watch the show now!
Thanks for your support Lea. Yes watch the Outlander show, its really great. I've tried reading the book, much prefer the show though.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx