“My mamma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.”
Well that about sums up TTWD for me and maybe for a lot of us in the land. I've read quite often that some of our men are not consistent and its been a while since our last spanking.
PK wrote a blog titled Still thinking about the spanking lifestyle and asked the following questions
Will your man talk about TTWD with you? Are you so established in what you do that you don’t need to discuss it any longer? Would you like to talk about it with him? Do you talk face to face or email? If you don’t really talk about it is there anything you would like to tell your guy about TTWD that you think he should understand better.
I must admit the post you wrote PK could be my life. Bear is such a gentle man he is afraid of hurting me to a certain degree. Although he has also said he is afraid of liking it too much by really spanking hard. He doesn't want to be the 'boss' of me on a full time basis either. Yet I've taken a step back since we moved leaving most of the final decisions to him. Not that we don't discuss purchases at times, just that Bear decides which items we need.
So in answer to your questions
Will your man talk about TTWD with you?
Bear will talk about TTWD a tiny bit. He was surprised when I talked to some friends recently via face time that others DO practice TTWD. Although we have talked about it previously, he obviously thought it was our little secret. He had heaps of questions for me once I was off the phone. This also spurred him on for a short time, pity it didn't last.
Are you so established in what you do that you don’t need to discuss it any longer?
We seem to run either HOT or COLD with TTWD. So no we are not established enough. Some days Bear wears his HOH hat so well I have to watch my Ps and Qs. On these days every opportunity he gets, he gives me hard swats or a full on spanking.
Other days he isn't interested at all, leaving me feeling confused. We seem to have set backs when either of us is sick also. Which makes it hard to get back in the swing of things.
Would you like to talk about it with him?
Definitely if he will sit down for a lengthy discussion. Its hard to pin point a good time.
Do you talk face to face or email?
We talk face to face. When we were first married I used to write him letters. Bear thinks the written word can be taken the wrong way and can hurt more than a proper conversation. So I try to talk to him. Some times its successful, other times he seems to change the subject very fast, which is frustrating.
If you don’t really talk about it is there anything you would like to tell your guy about TTWD that you think he should understand better.
I would really love to tell him that consistency would help a great deal. I need to know where my boundaries are daily, instead of chopping and changing. Also with regular spankings I seem to have a higher pain threshold, yet with the odd one here and there its too hard to take. I wimp out.
In the end I know Bear loves me with all his heart and would never do anything to upset me. Yet I still feel like I'm crazy wanting to be spanked, yet I can't change the way I am. I throw my hands up in the air saying I'll just read more of my 'dirty books' as D1 calls them and leave my fantasies in my head. It seems to nag at me though until I blurt out to Bear spank me.
Happy 4th July to all my friends in the USA. Hope you're all having a wonderful celebration.
In the end I know Bear loves me with all his heart and would never do anything to upset me. Yet I still feel like I'm crazy wanting to be spanked, yet I can't change the way I am. I throw my hands up in the air saying I'll just read more of my 'dirty books' as D1 calls them and leave my fantasies in my head. It seems to nag at me though until I blurt out to Bear spank me.
Happy 4th July to all my friends in the USA. Hope you're all having a wonderful celebration.
Hi Lindy, great post! I think you sum it up well for many of us. There definitely is an ebb and flow to ttwd and consistency is something many of us struggle with, life does have a habit of getting in the way.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you and Bear are able to talk about ttwd. Communication is so important.
Happy 4th of July to our American friends.
Hugs
Roz
Thank you Roz. It is a pity life gets in the way sometimes.
DeleteHope you are keeping well.
Hugs Lindy xx
Thanks Lindy
ReplyDeleteYour welcome Sunny
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Hi Lindy,
ReplyDeleteVery nice getting a little insight into your and Bear's relationship. It's hard to ask for a spanking because somehow it takes away from the thrill of being TOLD, "Somebody is going to get her ass reddened. Over my knee, young lady!" In the end, though, I find the spanking is worth it even if I have to ask for it. :) Amy
Hi Amy, It is hard asking for a spanking. I've turned it into a bit of a game though and most likely drive Bears nuts saying spank me all the time. LOL!
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Hi Lindy, nice post, I think most of us don't get ti perfect most of the time....
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
Hi Jan, It appears that way, then there is no perfect in TTWD. We all do our own thing.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Lindy,
ReplyDeleteYou always write from the heart....... yours! I feel it in every post!
Meredith
Thank you so much Meredith. From someone who writes such great posts that is an honour indeed.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
Consistency is the name of the game! It's also my number one "complaint"
ReplyDeleteYes I totally agree Lea. Consistency makes it easier to cope.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
thank-you for sharing your feelings on this. there are definitely times of ebbing and flowing... Hugs to you
ReplyDeleteThanks Terps, Yes definitely ebbing and flowing. Life in general is like that sometimes we are happy feeling on top of the world and other times in dark moods. Just have to remember things will improve.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
I think this is great Lindy.:)
ReplyDeleteWe all have it great when we look in from the outside! I think as woman we, me included wish and wish..... foe what we see as perfect.... when we each have perfect.
Thank you Minelle. So true, we always wish for more yet we do have perfect. I wouldn't change my life with Bear even if paid a million dollars.
DeleteHugs Lindy xx
I loved reading this, Lindy. It is lonely when you feel like ttwd isn't real enough for you. It's so nice to have friends to whom you can pour out your heart once in a while. Don't think I could do this without them.
ReplyDeleteWhen we seem to be getting a little stale, I choose posts from all of you to read aloud to Sam. That is the way we found our path with ttwd in the beginning. Even now, it will many times spark a discussion between us. Think I might read this one to Sam tonight!
Sending Love and Hugs Downunder,
Ella
Thank you so much Ella. It is really nice having friends in the land to share things with and find out how they feel about situations. Oh that's sweet you want to share this with Sam.
DeleteSending hugs right back up to you.
Hugs Lindy xx